Have you ever woken up from a nap and in a quick panic, thought to yourself, "How long have I been asleep?" I used to feel that way about my life. I spent the majority of my college experience wishing I was somewhere, anywhere other than San Antonio. To me, getting out meant life would really start.
God likes to prove me wrong and i'm starting to be ok with that. See, the truth is that life really started for me when I opened my heart to Him. Yes, I grew up going to church and being involved in various ministries or positions. But when I learned what real community and discipleship looked like, I suddenly found that I felt...well, alive! The sobering reality when I discovered this, was how much time I felt I had wasted. It isn't enough to just be a "good Christian." We have a responsibility to love others the way that God has loved us.
One of my favorite passages from scripture comes from Ephesians 5:13-14:
"But when anything is exposed by the light it becomes visible, for anything that becomes visible is light. Therefore it says, 'Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.' Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise, but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil."
Making the best use of the time. That's what I want to do. Anyone who has known me over the past ten years or so might be confused by that statement. In fact, I have done quite a bit with my time but in my heart, I know that i've held back quite a bit. Mostly due to fear and insecurity, which is something i've battled with my whole life. Thankfully though these things still tend to plague me periodically, God has shown me how truly sad it is to let them get in the way. In the way of what, you ask? Of Him!
CT Studd once said, "Some wish to live within the sound of a church and chapel bell; I wish to run a rescue mission within a yard of hell." The first time I heard that statement I had to ask myself if I felt the same way. And if the answer was no, then why? If God has called me to life then why not make my life a mission?
Whenever I write on this blog I have a hard time getting to the point (in my opinion anyway). But I guess the point is that i'm thankful. Thankful that God shook me till I woke up and realized that life could be so much more if I only allow Him to lead. So that is my prayer, not only for myself, but for you dear reader. This is most likely mom and Ani, but if anyone else is reading then hello to you!
Until next time...Let's wake up.